My sibling was always the favourite and I am still untangling what that did to me
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I went through something painfully similar last year. It does get lighter, not all at once, but in small unglamorous steps. Hang on to the tiny good moments.
Whatever happens next, this moment of honesty already changed something. You cannot unsee a truth once you have said it out loud.
I have lived a version of this. The guilt is loud now, but the self-respect outlasts it. Give it a little time and you will see.
Be patient with yourself. Healing is not linear and you are not failing just because some days feel like a step backwards.
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