A
gentle_window_50about 2 months ago
anxiousoverthinkingA little calmer

I finally ‘made it’… so why do I feel like a fraud?

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Something big happened recently. I got the promotion I’d been working towards for a long time. The kind of thing you imagine celebrating, calling people about, feeling proud of. And I did all that… but only on the outside. Inside, it felt very different. The moment it became real, my first thought wasn’t “I deserve this.” It was “what if they realize I don’t?” Suddenly, everything I do feels like it’s being watched more closely. Every decision feels heavier than it used to. I keep thinking someone’s going to notice something I missed, or ask something I don’t know the answer to… and that’ll be it. Like the whole thing will fall apart and everyone will realize I’ve just been figuring things out as I go. The strange part is, I was figuring things out before too. But back then, it felt normal. Now it feels like I’m getting away with something. People keep congratulating me, telling me I earned it… and I just smile and say thanks, hoping it starts to feel real at some point. I thought reaching this point would make me feel like an “adult.” But honestly… I still feel like the same person, just with more responsibility and less confidence. Does that feeling ever actually change… or are we all just pretending a little?
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I finally ‘made it’… so why do I feel like a fraud?
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I just want to vent

Best replies here sound like: “That makes sense.” “That sounds exhausting.” “I can see why this hit hard.”

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