I found out my partner has a whole second life… and I don’t even know what was real anymore

I don’t even know where to start. For years, I thought I was in a stable, normal relationship. Not perfect, but steady. We had routines, future plans, inside jokes — all the things that make you feel like you’re building something real with someone. There were small things that didn’t always add up, but I ignored them. He travelled a lot for work. Sometimes his phone would be off for hours. Weekends would occasionally “get busy” at the last minute. I questioned it a few times, but he always had an explanation that sounded reasonable enough. And I trusted him. A few weeks ago, something small led to everything falling apart. I came across a message — nothing dramatic at first, just a name I didn’t recognise. But something about it didn’t sit right. I wish I could say I handled it calmly, but I didn’t. I went looking for answers. What I found didn’t make sense at first. Photos. Conversations. A completely different version of him. And then the part I still struggle to even say out loud — there’s another woman. In another city. And not just that… they have a child together. I had to read it multiple times for it to even feel real. This isn’t something that started recently. It’s been going on for years. While I was here, building a life with him, he was doing the same somewhere else. I don’t even know what hurts more. The betrayal… or the fact that he managed to live both lives so convincingly. I keep replaying everything in my head now. Every trip, every excuse, every moment I trusted him without question. And now I’m left questioning all of it. Was any of it real? I haven’t told many people yet. I don’t even know how to explain something like this without it sounding unreal. Right now I just feel… numb, confused, and honestly a bit lost. If anyone has gone through something even remotely similar… how do you even begin to process something like this?